Breaking downMy brain had a melt down you seeAll the emotions and pieces of meSpilled out onto the floor in vibrant redSuch sadness and despair poured from my headNo matter what I did no one could seeWhat was staring in front of meThe loss of something I couldn't expressI had to find a way to clean the messBetrayal followed shortly you seeFriendships I thought meant everything to meI was invisible againTrying to avoid themEveryone deserves to be happy seeThough, not black rainclouds like meSo it's better if I hide awayShowing no emotion todayIf I hide behind this maskNo one will ever askAnd I can be alone you seeTo tear apart the pieces of meBreaking down in front of youWas something I didn't want to doI'm supposed to be in charge hereNo one else should ever get nearTo the depth of my weakening coreTo the places the scars are soreFreezing it all back into placeI'll find my way and eraseAll the traces that led to meSo that no one will ever seeThe pain I've kept inside o
WinterWinter haunts in roots of December,crimson berries bursting on brown vinesand leaves mottled silver under foot.It nestles on damp mossand gathers, brilliant white,in beads of snowthat hang on grasswhere the air snaps clean,slashes evergreen smiles in branchesand curls in smokefrom distant chimneys.It warms the blood in mulled wineand cools the skinin the crisp bitewhere frost takes away your breathand children's bright cheeksflame the gray duskthat settles over farmhouses.It smells of peat and toasted cake,coals nestled in gratesand chestnuts sputtering openin mittened hands and fingers.It draws us home against the spangling skyand settles back behind the windows,hiding under heavy quiltsand dark plaid blankets,where steam spillsfrom cups of teaand tangles with laughter and ghost stories.It tucks us inand shivers under the door,spilling out under a slivered moon,leaving us to nestle into each otherand spin dreams of soft, warm green.
what is a masochist?when i found you last week, you were pressing the lipsof a broken bottle to your face, tracing a line of red tears.when i asked why you did it to yourself, you saidi like myself better this way.when i saw you in the hallway, you held the hand of anotherwhore, and she held the keys to your heart.when i asked why you did this to yourself, you saidi like myself better this way.when i called you three days ago, you were crying while you smotheredyour mouth with your own hands, bruising the curves of your lips.when i asked why you did that to yourself, you saidi like myself better this way.when i took you out for a drive yesterday, you kept yourself away. you stayedquiet and bit your tongue till it bled, but your black eyes never left my body.when i asked why you do this to yourself, you saidi can like myself better this way.when i came to your house today, you were tying ropes around yourneck. your floor was covered in